I was just reading through my blog.. how insane, i know. i realise how far i've come, how fast time flies. it was just yesterday that i finished my A levels, it was just yesterday that i felt so confused about life. But God brought me through all this. He took me through the years, each and every step of the way, through all my troubles and pain. as i look back and ponder, i'm filled with gratefulness and i can never thank Him enough. i would never even think of being able to repay Him for His grace and mercy. i realise how far i am from Him now. i can dish out excuses aplenty, so many reasons - that i haven't found the proper church, busyness with work, adjustment to the new life here, personal problems etc etc.. but all these are just excuses. period. i really wanna be running home again, home to where i should belong, the place i'm destined to be. the world is engulfing me in its worldliness, emotions and lies. God forgive me for my sinful nature.
Though it may be an excuse, i think the church plays an important part in a believer's spiritual walk... the importance of living in christian community, being accountable etc. i've kinda "lost" all these things since coming to the uk. i'm fine attending the current church that i am at now. it's just that i feel that i would grow so much more in another, more suitable church. i just pray that God will lead me to that place, wherever He wants me to be, wherever he wants me to serve. i pray for the desire to serve out of reverence for Him, to glorify His name, out of love for His people and to fulfil the Great commission.
I've been bogged down with many irritations lately. at work and more so, at home. i know i could have responded differently in some situations but i chose not to - i just couldn't be bothered to, i was too frustrated to. i should have looked to God and responded in the way that Jesus would. another thing, i wanna always remember that i should "... seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to u as well." - Matthew 6:33
The Beatitudes
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.
- Matthew 5:3-10
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