Reflections

I spent the first 2 years of my life in uni wondering why i was doing chemistry - was probably because i wasted my 2 years in jc slacking. i was asking many questions... my mind full of doubt and my future so uncertain. i worked hard to earn good grades but God only gave me enough so that i would be satisfied and not too much so that i could boast.. and i truly thank Him for that. i thought that God was blessing me because he saw that i was working hard. but a prayer that Gladys (ex-cell group leader) said for me one sunday in church made me realise that it is because of His love that he has done so much for me and not because He sees the effort that i've put in.

I set goals and worked towards them but my direction was still unclear - all this time wondering what God's plan was for me. so many painful nights, so much confusion; God just wanted me to trust Him and His plans.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

He gave me the exchange program, something that i wanted very much. it was really the experience of a lifetime, a critical moment i would say, during which He also revealed more of Himself to me. it definitely changed me and broadened my perspectives of: His kingdom, life, love and many daily issues. still, i couldn't bear to surrender all to Him and i'm currently still finding it a real challenge to do so. there's been great improvement though... (:

i was so sure that i would be going on to honours year. so sure that i would enrol in grad school immediately after. but God had other plans, bigger and better plans.

i submitted my application form for the EDB-TAP program with almost zero confidence that i would get through - 1) i chanced upon the advert not in the straits times classifieds but on a noticeboard in school. i never look at those things!! 2) i submitted my application after the deadline. 3) i'm not exactly a super high-flyer. 4) i found out on the interview date that there were 120 applicants vying for 30places. 5) out of the 30 places, only 10 places were allocated to UK. the other 20 were to the US or swtizerland locations. (my preference was for the UK.) 6) most of the applicants were either already working or completing their honours year life science, pharmacy or chemical engineering. OMgosh.. (They took in 50 candidates in the end with 17 going to the UK. and i am one of them!)

As such, i wanna outwardly testify here on my blog space that God is real and he has blessed me so abundantly despite my sinful nature and shortcomings. i managed to get the placement not because of my so-called "achievements" (which are nothing anyway) but purely because of His grace and mercy.

next entry>> more about the program.